Monday, February 21, 2011

Lenny Bruce is not afraid....

A little over a decade ago the world prepared itself for the end of modern civilization. The binary code which has always existed in defiance of the tower of babel had nothing to say for the new millennia. Communications, alarm systems, power drives would all cease to be at the stroke of midnight on January 1st, 2000 and our long dormant hunter gatherer backgrounds would resurface.

While many of my friends (even the sane ones) had stored water, bullets and genetically engineered foodstuffs, I myself was ill prepared. I had not stocked up on anything. I spent the evening alone with a bottle of Bush mill’s Black with Billie Holiday, The Gun Club, This Mortal Coil, and Morphine and Johnny Cash alternating on my soon to be dead, 5 disc changer. Twelve midnight came while Billie was pushing my soul to look at the “Strange Fruit”, and oddly enough she didn’t stop coaxing me. A few minutes of car horns and firecrackers from a few streets over was the only other sound and then my cell phone rang. Y2K, the invisible monster had not made the scene. I had survived the end of civilization.

Cut to last Thursday. A friend I have not talked to in a while called. He said he wanted to talk to the few that mattered, because Armageddon had begun. “What do you mean it has begun?” I asked. “Yeah, Iran has two warships going through the Suez Canal on their way to Syria! You, know Egypt is on its ear right now, so that just leaves the Iranians to do what they want, and Israel will blow those rafts outta the water!” , came his excited reply. He is a paper carrying political scientist that is hardly prone to conspiracy theory and can recite most modern Middle Eastern history without pause. He expounded on how the revolutions of democracy in the Arab world would be the United States undoing. Mostly because just as tired as they are of dictators in that part of the world, they are tired of having no money and will look to new avenues of gaining funds. Currently the only way to buy Arab oil is with US dollars. Meaning every country in the world has to use their funds to buy US dollars. There are those in the European Union which would like to see the Euro, become the currency of choice and China would of course like to see the Yen, but in Oil rich world the impoverished are tired of their lives and would like to see some hope come their way, so maybe the massive move to a more democratic reality will bring a call to have their own currency take the helm.

How will this be our undoing? We do not have to buy dollars we print them. Oil will go through the roof for us in price if we have to buy someone else’s currency as our already fictional dollar values will vanish. Most of our population depends on cities, which depend on supply to meet our demands and supply means oil. Are we on that verge? Have the last 35 years of debate over alternative fuels, greenhouse emissions, and dependence on foreign fuels without quick action finally kicked our keisters? Possibly, and possibly we had no choice in the matter.

The Mayans and the Hopis have given us the end of time scenarios. There is a lot of… to put it nicely “stuff” out on the net now that the Bible puts the final battle between good and evil in 2012. Predictions of solar storms picking up in that year will be knocking out power grids and taking down satellites at an alarming rate. The “super volcano” in Yellowstone has been swelling and the ground has lifted over the last few years. Although scientist say we are not in emanate danger, the calendar created by folks whom with stone tools measured the lunar year to within 34 seconds of accuracy may suggest otherwise. Thrown in that we are overdue for a major catastrophe according to some physicists and the poles magnetic fields are on the move and the recipe starts to take on the form of congealed doomsday gravy that cannot be ignored! Or can it?

Can we ignore the end of times long enough for 12/22/2012 to happen? I would like to give you the sober and sane answer of yes, but know one here truly knows. I will probably be just as ill prepared the night prior, but unlike some I will have done things a little different leading up to that day.

My spirit will be good. Take that religiously, philosophically, or politically. I have already apologized to those I should. Those that I love know it. Unlike most of my fellow Americans, the race of acquisition for the sake of acquisition is over. My family is currently in the process of saying no to life on credit and eating foods brought to us by diversified conglomerates. We are searching ways to live on the grid, without being chained to it.

I am doing what I want to do, and starting to pursue the aspects of life I ignored. I am in my first band in years and I don’t have to be the singer, it has no plans of being “signed” will probably never be goofy enough to play a show, and it’s my favorite music project I have ever come to be a part of. I am writing fiction in the wee hours and reading the books I always said I would. I am practicing 3 new languages with plans for a fourth. My children are being given opportunity to set their ambitions without my over lording their dreams. The twins want to be artists, and the six year old currently wants help building a “machine that will make vegetables taste like hotdogs!”

I am watching my politicians thoroughly decimate what we got right in this country and have come to the conclusion that my own decisions in every scenario is what got me to the place I am in. A beautiful family, extraordinary friends and sorry if arrogance hurts you, but an understanding that I live in a time when not being a sheep and having an intellect above the rush of many is seen as treason. Oh well.

This is how I hope it plays out. The last week of the world as we know it the family and I will read books, eat some adventurous meals, and listen to some of our favorite music and talk. I will hope to take my wife to a nice restaurant; you know the kind before kids. The friends should all don their best ironic t-shirts and have a party. Maybe the goofy band could play a song or two. Many snobbish hops elixirs should be consumed that evening. If or when the sun rises on the 22nd of December 2012 and my eyes open I will only have two things to determine if I need to start building a tribe or if breakfast will be healthy or fried.

Here are a few sources you may want to visit before obliteration:

http://www.2012store.net/?gclid=COz1vbHemacCFYGW7QodAymccg they are still allowing credit card transactions at this time!

http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Quizzes/BeliefOMatic.aspx the belief-o-matic helps you determine what religion is right for you!

http://www.secretsofsurvival.com/survival/collapse_of_civilization.html Know the secrets!

As of this writing you have 668 days 16 hours and 54 minutes to put a plan of action together. Good luck!

2 comments:

  1. Good for you for making peace with yourself regardless of whether or not you believe in fear-mongering prophesies. You're setting a great example for your kids. (I'd eat vegetables that taste like hot dogs, btw.) I did visit beliefnet.com and it told me everything I already knew: I'm going to hell. Oh well, I feel fine.

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  2. Seems the belief-o-matic is pitching many a good soul to the fiery depths. The block parties and roller derby matches I hear are awesome.

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